Do you know anyone who’s successfully given it up?  Sugar, I mean.  That sweet white powder, the cocaine of the 21st century, the bane of diabetics and the playdough of bakers and pastry cooks everywhere.  Yeah, that stuff.  Sucrose, Fructose, Dextose, pie… Who wants Sucralose, holler “I”!

It’s not as if switching to Splenda is going to help.  Even thinking about sugar spikes insulin production.  What’s a girl to do?  I bet Betty and Veronica never worried about sugar when they were swilling malts at Pop’s Chok-Lit Shop.  Of course, they were animated and the artist could erase thigh bulges at will. 

Wouldn’t that be great? An extra large eraser to rub out mistakes, overindulgence and miscalculations.  How about one to eliminate rude strangers, bad dates, shrill bosses, heartbreakers, failures and embarrassments?  The mind reels…

If only we could go back and change disappointments whether they be ours or another’s, what a sweet world it would be.  And that, of course, is why we need sugar:  to sweeten the unpalatable.  It’s easy to forget the pain when one is solely focused on the joy of a glazed doughnut.

Cruelty, politics, war, starvation, disasters all fade away when the sweetness hits your tongue.  The food coma that follows blocks the assault for a while and during that time, one is free to imagine a place without suffering.  Ride the wave of serotonin while she takes you on a happy little journey before dumping you, shaking and irritable, back into reality.  Better reach for another helping quickly or face the unhappy task of doing something about that reality.

Isn’t it strange that we’re quick to criticize a child’s dependence on a pacifier, but not so eager to pull out our own?  What, give up my Twizzlers/M & Ms/Diet Coke/Ho-Ho’s/Altoids/Cheese Danish/Double Mocha Latte/Ice Cream/Girl Scout Cookies/Captain Crunch??  I’d rather be torn apart by a pack of hungry wolves…

If even the idea of living without sugar equals no life at all, maybe it’s not quite the innocuous stuff we believe it to be.  Declaring it a controlled substance?  Just think about the mayhem… millions of tweaks breaking every law to obtain it.  Self-discipline?  Just try to turn your head away from Mom’s crusty delicious apple pie á la mode.. we’ve so tightly associated food with a mother’s love that rejecting it is a slap in her face. 

There are those who have broken free from its clutches and report  -if their excessively cheerful missives are to be believed- that life is even sweeter without it.  Clarity, energy and mood stability all wait outside the wall. 

So… who’s ready to bust out?


One Response to “SUGAR, SUGAR”

  1. well i surely need my imported beers (sugar-turners, every sip) and
    It’s impossible I could turn away from the MOM and her (indeed) “crusty
    delicious apple pie” but everything else, I think I could. I do like something sweet when I sleepily walk out to look in the fridge late after a between dream bathroom break, just a bit, like a half something (sugarless chocolate mints work) but everything else..Count me in, Kimmy
    free from the clutches of the sugar kingpins and those childhood cereal commercials

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