THE DEEP END OF THE POOL

Have you ever been faced with an insurmountable problem and known that the solution lays at the bottom of the abyss?  It’s there, ripe for the plucking, if you can muster the courage to jump into the unknown.

Of course, what choice do you really have?  You can stay in the miserable place that has you trapped, or you can venture beyond the frontier.  There are no guarantees as to what you’ll find in this unexplored country, but that’s what all leaps of faith entail.

A cushy landing… isn’t that what we all expect?  A miraculous resolution to the problem that pushed us into the leap and assurance that not only will everything be all right, but that the new conditions will yield answers and unending happiness.

Perhaps that’s what we all seek:  a tidy solution to our mess.  The only problem is our conflicts usually involve others, and people always seem to have their own idea as to what is acceptable.  No matter how hard you try, you will never completely convey your idea to another because they do not have your particular perception.

The manner by which we view the world varies wildly, even among the like-minded.  At best, we hope for affinity and mutual respect.  However, most of us want more, a kind of soul-level understanding that is beyond human ability.  We want delirious love without condition, but are incapable of it. 

Why, then, do we insist upon asking the impossible from our partners?  Are we trying to avoid our responsibility, or the guilt when we discover that the love we seek is not of this world?  As much as we habitually make individuals the center of our private universe, we tear them apart when they fail to deliver.  It might be pre-emptive anger.  Better to strike first than to be found wanting.  At least when you’re on the offense, you don’t have to explain your own shortcomings.

But that’s only a temporary fix.  Eventually you will have to acknowledge that the blackhole in your soul is of your own making, and that everyone is struggling with the same disease.  It’s only when you realize that all of us are in the same boat, that you can develop a sense of true compassion. 

We are not alone in our delusions.  They assume different shapes, as unique as snowflakes, but they are all the same in essence:  expectation based on attachment to outcome.  But to what are we really clinging?  If we tie ourselves to fluctuation, then we will bob and weave with the motion.  No one person can steer you to safety if he/she is at the mercy of the same conditions.

Better to anchor one’s self in the unchanging, even if that decision requires a leap of faith so monumental that it scares you to the core.  Will you let your life be guided by fear, or will you resume control of it by surrendering control?

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