They were sitting at a table in Starbucks and the blonde was complaining to her companion.  “I want to be completely different,” she said, brandishing her triple vente latte, “but I don’t want to be inconvenienced.”

Normally I don’t pay any attention to random conversations, especially those between manicured North Shore trophy wives, but this one caught my notice.  In spite of her plasticine  malaise, she managed to distill the biggest obstacle to personal growth into one sentence.

As I drove away, I thought about the implications.  How many times had I talked about or visualized change only to be dismayed when it actually occured?   Somehow I learned to think of change as cosmetic, as easy and fun as changing hairstyles, but without any longterm consequences.  It seems, if café conversation is any indicator, this presumption is shared by others.

Nobody thinks about the transition that change requires, only the happy result.   If we really knew what it takes to change jobs, relationships, homes, location or even our minds, we’d be less likely to romanticize it.  Change is not for the fainthearted or the dilettante.  They are better off drifting through life or allowing occasional minor shifts.  As long as the change is so slow that it’s imperceptible, they can be smugly content knowing they’ve avoided the pain of real upheaval.

However if you don’t care that your life will be  ripped asunder, then jump in with both feet.   The only fixed thing in life is change and the sooner you embrace it, the less likely you’ll be alarmed by the aftermath.   Does this mean complete indifference to the wailing of those around you?  No, but don’t be surprised if you’re labeled unfeeling because you’d rather celebrate than mourn.



  1. Thank you for this. You have a wonderfull style in writting and in expression which is much needed. It is always great to see there are other “tribe” members out there, alive and thinking. Embrace change. I promise to start today. I have already started.

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