MAKING AMENDS

So, now that you know you’ve sacrificed hundred of things on the altar of fear, what are you going to do about it?   Think of all those things -people, tasks, relationships, obligations, duties, pleasures- all deferred just to keep the peace, a peace which in the end was never found.   Are you going to cower and blame someone else, again, for your choices, or will you step up and own them? 

The consequences of your actions lay bare; you can’t ignore them anymore.   They may have been committed in moments of weakness and doubt, but they’re still yours.  You can tackle it now or wait until later when the interest and penalties are impossibly steep.

This might be a bad time to ask, but what the hell were you thinking?  Hiding behind another and pretending is no way to live.  Did you think the charade would last indefinitely?  This is not a Cinemascope production.  The characters will not ride off into the sunset.  They will sit in front of you, gradually growing older, until you decide to address them.

And what can you say except I’m sorry?  You don’t have any excuse.  Haven’t you been plugging away at your practice, chanting and contorting for realization?  Well, here it is, sister.  Better take a long hard look because it’s got your messy fingerprints all over it. 

Not so pretty after all, is it?  Maybe not, but it’s still yours.  Why don’t you just pick yourself up?  If you expect the onlookers to help, you’ll be lying on that floor forever;  everyone’s waiting for you to stand up and help them.

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