I’ve decided to bypass logic and proceed as if nothing can hamper me.  Gravity, law of return, karma, e=mc². . . who cares about all that stuff?  I’m operating in a law-free environment, independent of consequence, suspended in a cloud of optimism so puffy and white that it whisks me away before the chips fall.

I’m not ignoring the facts, just disregarding them.  Do I have to be constantly reminded how dreary life is and why it’s my duty to shoulder the same monotonous burdens that everyone carries?  No.  I’m perfectly aware that life is unfair, thank you.  I just choose not to get line and pony up for my yoke.

So, is it sadness that I detect from others or resentment that I refuse to play along?  Those long faces can’t all be the result of personal grief and disappointment; surely a good amount of hostility is worked in there as well.   It’s easy to spot.  Just look for the pout.

Oh, and the slumped shoulders.  And the beady stare that challenges you to abandon the course you’re on.   How could I forget about the whining and the wheedling for attention?  I need a daily reminder of how selfish I am for refusing to act codependently.  Since when did I become the guardian of ignorance?

Probably when I signed on as the gatekeeper of everyone’s happiness.    I no longer want the job, but it’s not my fault that there are no other candidates for the position.  Who said I had to find my own replacement?  Besides, who in their right mind would take it?  The pay is terrible and there’s no 401K.

Fear and self-loathing are no longer incentives for me.  Instead, I choose the open road.  I may not yet know how to get there, but I know where I’m going.


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