ALL THIS AND ANGER, TOO

Just think of what pearls of wisdom they’ll offer. Shake hands and come out fighting like a man.  Great advice, except I’m not a man and I don’t enjoy fighting.   Don’t get mad; get everything.  I suppose that worked for Ivanna Trump, that is until she wound up on the losing end after recklessly marrying/divorcing an enterprising Italian boytoy several decades her junior.  Guess she learned nothing from her experience with the Donald.

I should have listened to my mother.  Had she bothered to offer any advice, I might have done it.   Sadly, she was too wrapped up in her own dysfunctional marriage to care.   You should have thought twice.  Okay, I admit I did not.  Instead I thought a zillion times and it still backfired.  

Maybe you ought to accept your lot.  I really love this one.  Not only is it a dig, but it just drips with resentment.  The implication being that I think too highly of myself and don’t exhibit enough solidarity toward my sisters who choose to stay miserable.  Is this my only option?

No one likes a quitter.  That’s true.  Better to beat a dead horse than be labeled a shirker.  Everyone has to do his part to maintain the illusion.  Think of the widespread panic if we all were to re-evaluate our relationships.

There’s no such thing as happiness.  Now that’s a downer if ever I’ve heard one.  Why don’t we all just commit mass suicide?  At least we’d be out of our collective misery.

Only men benefit from marriage.  If that’s true, why are so many women hell-bent getting to the altar?  If they knew what was waiting after the honeymoon, they’d throw back those multi-carat solitaires and invest in their own futures instead.

It’s God’s will.  When all else fails, starting quoting scripture.   You’re sure to find a passage to either absolve you of guilt or press the cause for reconciliation.  In addition to the self-righteous rush, it’s a real pleasure to condemn another.  Think of it as the ultimate trump card.

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2 Responses to “ALL THIS AND ANGER, TOO”

  1. Ouch – Although this is my first time seeing your blog, so I have no backstory, obviously you’re upset about something. I do like your answers to the cliches though…

    Cheers,
    Trevas

  2. off the top of my head, you missed ‘someday you’ll understand’, but you hit most of the major bullet points.

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