If there’s a solution to this mess, I’ve yet to discover it.  I’m treading water in a garbagey pool, trying to avoid the messiest chunks that float nearby.  What is it about raging domestic disputes that pull you down, down to the bottom of the ooze?

I often wonder why people involved in intimate relationships feel so free to attack.  Does the connection give them the security to behave like idiots?  When the rings go on, the gloves come off.  And there’s no referee, unless of course the fights are waged in front of a third party. 

Why do these associations trigger the worst in us?  Can it all be reduced to that shopworn adage Familiarity breeds Contempt?

Perhaps it’s less contempt than laziness.  The bond is taken for granted and the backsliding begins.  First to go is the effort to make the connection special.  This is quickly followed by the re-introduction of offensive habits and refusal to modify alienating behaviors.  Lastly comes the defiant stance, challenging the offended party to discard her sensibilities and become a mindless participant.

Once you’ve agreed to play this game, you cannot change the rules.  Any questioning is considered betrayal.  You must continue to support the players in their ignorance because asking more of them is simply not done.  Downsize your expectations and learn to love mediocrity; it will become your closest companion.

Or, risk it all and face the trash heap.  It’s covered with all your hopes and dreams.  Picking through the wreckage is dangerous, but you might find a few that are still viable.   Do you have what is takes to revive them, or will you succumb to the guilt and reproachment for forfeiting the game?


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