THE CAT’S PAJAMAS

So, I open the Chicago Tribune this morning and what do I spy on page 3, just beneath the juvenile listing of consumer products favored by both Obama and McCain?  A lovely mini-article about the alarming ‘new’ trend among women.  Apparently, both the National Science Foundation and the University of Chicago have taken great pains to map our secret habits.  And what have these venerable institutes discovered?  Wives are cheating in greater numbers than previously suspected.

My question is two-fold:  Why are precious tax dollars and endowments spent on this form of voyeurism and secondly, do these findings surprise anyone?

The boards could have saved themselves a heap of trouble and expense if they simply asked the average housewife shopping at Wal-Mart… or Nordstrom’s.  Their answers would be the same, despite the income and (presumably) education divide.  If they’re not actively engaged in extramarital dalliance, then they’re thinking about it!

Who put women on a pedestal anyway?  We are just as vulnerable to human foible as any man.  If we have been held to stricter standards, it’s because men have imposed them.  If we had to choose a set for ourselves, they wouldn’t be as impossibly lofty. 

Women are practical creatures.  If something doesn’t work, we fix it.  Few of us expect to be happy in marriage because we know just how much work it entails.  Yet we’re bound to nature and are the gateway for subsequent generations.  We sacrifice personal happiness for stability, for quite often the object of our true love (or lust in this case) is wildly inappropriate.  No sensible woman would breed with a bad boy, but she wants to fuck him nonetheless.

The real surprise of this research study is the naivete of men.  I’m not certain whether it’s poignant or laughable, but they do cling to antiquated notions.  Has it never occured to them that cheating requires a partner?   That partner could be virtually any woman.  Even the married lady next door.

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